Arch Enemies
by MoonbeamIntoxicating
Summary: The classic Cat Vs. Dog with an Inuyasha style twist! And just to make life interesting, this boxing match just got a referee! Kagome's officiating the fight, and she just might be a little biased! *posted on Dokuga also!*
1. Arch Enemies

**Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, I would be the most awesome person on the planet!**

**Arch Enemies**

A tail twitched. An eyelid fluttered. The age-old battle had been resumed by two new warriors.

Claws gleamed. Teeth glinted. Eyes glowed. The atmosphere was tense as the combatants studied one another for a weakness to exploit. The silence of the room was shattered as Kagome called up the stairs, "Buyo! Dinner time!"

The insufferable neko twitched his ears towards the sound before turning his back to me and sauntering away to get his dinner. "Another time neko, we shall settle this score once and for all!"

Kagome entered the room that had served as the impromptu battle ground, looked at me and said, "Were you having another staring contest with the cat? I thought I told you to leave Buyo alone! Honestly, between you and Inuyasha, it's a wonder that poor, fat Buyo hasn't had heart failure yet."

I wasn't about to allow the mouthy wench to tell me what to do! Especially when it came to the overweight, lazy, bad-smelling ball of fur that Kagome lovingly referred to as Buyo. The woman was obviously delusional because that menace was not the lovable pet that she seemed to think it was. It was evil. What was my proof for such a terrible accusation? Simple, it was a neko, and I am an Inu. However, I am not just any Inu, I am

"Sesshoumaru!!! Are you even listening to me!"

"How can this Sesshoumaru not listen to you, wench? You are screeching directly into my ears. With prolonged exposure to you, it is a wonder that Inuyasha can hear anything. Perhaps I should distance myself from your banshee voice, lest I face deafness for the rest of my extensive life!"

The miko looked angry. I have learned that it is best not to make her angry. Get any idea out of your head that I am afraid of her because this is not the case; however, it is not… pleasant to experience the Miko's rage in close quarters.

"**Sessh… Ou… Ma… Ru**!"

I cringed. It was about to get messy. Then something unexpected happened, the neko returned and saved my poor, bleeding ears from certain destruction at the hands of the ranting woman. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad creature after all. I kept this frame of mind for all of three seconds before the vile animal turned and slashed me directly across the face!

No, the Inu and the Neko had always been enemies. After tonight, they will still be enemies. But for now, I will allow him to live, my arch enemy.

Authors note: I had a revelation today while I was watching my cat and dog fight. They always began every fight with a stare down contest, but when my mom said dinner was ready, the cat left the dog alone. I think I was dropped on my head as a child many MANY times to think that it seemed like something Sesshoumaru would do, but then again *shrugs* it's fanfiction. I get to torture Sesshoumaru any way I want! Bwaaahaahaahaaahaa! *Starts coughing and hacks up hairball* I forgot to mention the feline DNA that I posses that wanted to see Buyo take a chunk outta the big, bad doggie! Please leave me a review and tell me what you think!


	2. Who's In The Dog House Now?

**Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, I would be the most awesome person on the planet!**

**Who's In The Dog House Now?**

_In the last chapter: Sesshoumaru V. Buyo! And the winner was.... Kagome?_

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"Buyo! Here kitty, kitty!" Kagome called. "Where could that cat have gotten to?"

"Perhaps the neko has finally succumbed to heart failure?" suggested Sesshoumaru in a bored tone.

"SESSHOUMARU! Don't say such terrible things!" Yelled Kagome into the still recovering InuDaiyokai's ears.

The feline in question was enjoying his rival's punishment at the hands of the human woman. He had in fact been hiding under the sofa during the entire hour they had been searching for him. How was Inu not able to smell him out, some might wonder? It was simple, Buyo had spent an entire week deliberately spreading his scent evenly over the shrine grounds for just this purpose. And now? Now the smug house cat was sitting back and watching the fireworks. He would reveal himself whenever Kagome's mom got done making the delicious food he could smell coming from the kitchen.

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"Sesshoumaru, are you absolutely certain that you can't smell Buyo out?"

"I am not your personal bloodhound, woman! This Sesshoumaru is an extremely powerful dog-demon, and as such I deserve some respe"

"Damn it, Sesshoumaru! I know you're a freaking dog-demon, why else would I ask you to smell out the cat? If you were a bat-demon I would ask you to listen for Buyo's heartbeat or something!" Kagome interrupted Sesshoumaru yet again.

Sesshoumaru suddenly got a very blank expression on his face and cocked his head to the side, "Though it is true this Sesshoumaru is not a bat-demon, I do happen to have excellent hearing... WHICH YOU SEEM TO FORGET WHEN YOU YELL IN MY EARS!" He cleared his throat and went back to his previous expressionless demeanor, "The neko nuisance is currently located underneath the sofa that is a mere five feet away from us."

Kagome shrieked, "WHAT! BUYO!!!!" and dived underneath the unfortunate piece of furniture to retrieve her not so lost pet. "Oh, Buyo! I've been worried sick about you, you naughty cat! Why were you hiding from me?" She was holding the fat cat when she suddenly had a revelation, "Buyo, were you hiding from... Sesshoumaru? Sesshoumaru! WHAT DID YOU DO TO BUYO! WHY WAS HE HIDING UNDERNEATH THE SOFA??!!"

Sesshoumaru, who's ears were ringing from the fresh exposure to Kagome's extremely loud yelling, replied, "BE SILENT WOMAN! Do not yell at this Sesshoumaru for crimes he did not commit! I haven't so much as touched a hair on your precious neko's head." What he was hoping Kagome didn't realize was that he never said anything about the rest of the annoying pest's body.

"I don't care what you say Sesshoumaru. Buyo had no other reason to hide, except for the fact that you are here! This is evidence that you must have been abusing him, AGAIN! If you keep this up, I am going to get you a nice subjugating DOG COLLAR! DID YOU HEAR ME! **DOG COLLAR!!**" After her long-winded yelling at Sesshoumaru, Kagome could only stand with the cat in her arms, red-faced and out of breath.

Sesshoumaru glared at The Evil One. It was all his fault, plus the neko had the audacity to stay in Kagome's arms, nestled under her heaving breasts, and smirk at him. The Neko would PAY! No one insults Sesshoumaru and gets away with it! Of course, he had to find a way to get out of the dog house with Kagome first....

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
**Dun.. Dun.. DUN... Lol I decided to do a second one-shot that was a continuation of my previous story, "Arch Enemies". Please give me nice reviews, and I will see what I can do about turning this into a story.. maybe? Well anyways, I hope you had fun reading, and tune in next time for the next chapter!


	3. Revenge Is Sweet

**Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, I would be the most awesome person on the planet!**

**Revenge Is Sweet**

_In the last chapter: Kagome sides with Buyo; Sesshoumaru is in the dog house._

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If dogs are men's best friend, then cats must be women's. It was the only possible explanation for the normally tenderhearted miko's current actions. She was degrading me in the worst possible way; she was making me... fetch.

"Come on Sesshoumaru! You can do it boy! Get the frisbee!"

"Woman, this Sesshoumaru is not a dog! I am a powerful InuDaiyok-"

"But Sesshoumaru, you are the one that keeps continually remainding me that you _are_ in fact a DOG! NOW, get the frisbee!"

No doubt, you are wondering what prompted this current bout of Sesshoumaru degredation. It was simple, when Kagome said dog collar, she wasn't kidding this time. She had actually gone to a pet store, purhased a black leather collar complete with metallic studs, and placed it around Sesshoumaru's neck while he was otherwise occupied with hunting down the bane of his existence, Buyo.

"FETCH!" yelled Kagome in Sesshoumaru's face.

Protesting the entire way, Sesshoumaru dropped to all fours and lumbered after the bright pink plastic disk that was currently flying through the air in the opposite direction. Too bad Inuyasha wasn't around to enjoy his brother's humiliation, but unfortunately for Sesshoumaru, Buyo was. He was sitting in one of the lower branches of the God Tree sniggering in feline delight at his enemy's plight.

Sesshoumaru returned the hellish pink object to the human miko/torturer and waited for the enevitable command of "Fetch!". He had becomed resigned to his fate after his attempts to shred, melt, cut, or otherwise remove the collar from around his neck had proved to be futile; however, he had the perfect punishment planned for the neko that had gotten him into this situation in the first place, and if his plot went according to plan, then perhaps the Miko as well.

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It was finally dinnertime. Time to put Operation Revenge into action! While Kagome's mom was out of the kitchen washing up after all of her sweating over the hot oven, I would sneak into the kitchen and alter the neko's meal for the evening. The foolish feline would never know what hit him!

My plan went off without a hitch! Now, the insufferable beast only has to eat his dinner; and, Bingo! He was chowing down like the little pig he truly was! After what I added to his food, Kagome will never allow Buyo to sleep with her ever again! Oh yeah, I was good!

"You look like the cat the that ate the canary, Sesshoumaru. What did you do?" Kagome said accusingly to Sesshoumaru.

"This Sesshoumaru did not "do" anything." Sesshoumaru stated. He then proceeded to mumble under his breath, "Well I did, but you will no doubt figure that out later tonight." He then glared coldly at Kagome for suggesting that he looked anything like his arch enemy, Buyo.

Kagome continued to cast suspicious looks at Sesshoumaru for the rest of the meal. Sesshoumaru proceeded to ignore said looks and contemplated the revenge that would be visited apon his neko foe later in the evening.

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**Sometime around 10 o'clock at night:**

"Buyo!" Kagome shouted for the third time in the past five minutes, "Will you quit passing gas! I'm trying to study for my test!"

Downstairs in the living room, where Sesshoumaru was temporarily camping out, Sesshoumaru smiled in satisfaction. Yes, he was absolutely brilliant! Judging by the level of anger in the Miko's voice, The Evil One would soon be banished from her room due to his gaseous nature. It was a stroke of genius when he thought of the plan to slip soy milk into the neko's food. Since he had tried the concoction and gotten the same results as the feline was now experiencing, he knew it was a less than pleasant experience.

Why, oh why, had the stupid miko forced him to drink an entire glass of the disqusting milk substitute? He had spent the next day-and-a-half trying to suppress the massive case of bloating and flatulence that the health-food drink had caused. Now, he was passing his suffering on to the evil neko and the almost-as-evil miko. Yes, revenge was sweet, but it was even better when you could kill two birds with one stone; or in this situation, a monstrous Miko and a nefarious Neko with one really bad case of gas.

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**Author's Note:**

Hey everybody! I got inspired and decided to turn my original one-shot into a small story! It is a little bit un-realistic, I know, but it is still kinda funny, right? *crickets chirp in the background* Errr... well I think it is funny, and seeing how I am the one writing this thing, only my opinion counts! *sticks tongue out at readers* So there! *Runs from knife-wielding readers* *Sob, sob* I'm sorry I didn't mean it! *Turns around and faces the cround of murderous readers with a shotgun in hand* Now then, review or FACE MY WRATH! MWAAAHAAHAAHAA! *Hack, Cough* Man, I really need to see a doctor about these random hairballs...


	4. Payback Is A Miko's Mother?

**Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, I would be the most awesome person on the planet!**

**Payback Is A Miko's Mother?**

_In the last chapter: Sesshoumaru learns how to fetch, but revenge was sweeter than soy milk._

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Mrs. Higurashi was preparing her morning cup of coffee, which she really, REALLY needed because of all of her daughter's shouting the night before, when she noticed something odd. The quart of soy milk that she usually used as creamer in her coffee was completely empty. The reason that this was so odd was no one else in the house drank soy milk. Mrs. Higurashi remembered Kagome's ill-fated attempt to convince her large demon friend, Sesshoumaru, to drink soy milk, and the results of the experiment. Come to think of it, Sesshoumaru had had many of the same symptoms that Buyo seemed to be exhibiting: gas, bloating, and a very miserable facial countenance. The only question was who gave Buyo soy milk?

In the living room, Sesshoumaru awoke from a very satisfying dream. In his dream, he had been chasing the miserable neko, Buyo. Except in this dream, he had tansformed into his true form and completely annihilated the bothersome pest once and for all!

As he was smirking from his violent thoughts, the Miko's mother walked into the room and asked him a question, "Excuse me, Sesshoumaru, but did you by any chance give Buyo some soy milk last night?"

Kagome's mom watched with morbid fascination as the already pale Daiyokai turned nearly transparent. In that instant, she knew who had given the cat her soy milk. She also knew that she was not happy about the InuDaiyokai's actions. He had not only kept her up all night listening to Kagome's complaining, but he had also removed one of the key ingredients to erasing her massive sleep deprivation, the soy milk she used in her coffee! Sesshoumaru would suffer for his sins! She would make sure of it.

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"She was evil!" that was the only thought that was running through Sesshoumaru's mind as he was forced to manuver between the hundreds of human's crowding Tokyo's streets. He had, at one time, considered Naraku to be the ultimate evil that ever lived in Japan. Later, when he had come to Kagome's time, he had revised his opinion and considered Buyo to be the more evil one. Then the Miko, Kagome, had placed a subjugating collar on his person and given him the humiliating command of "Fetch!" This automatically placed her at the top of the ever-increasing list of evil beings that inhabit or had inhabitted Japan. But all of the aforementioned beings paled in comparison to the Higurashi Matriarch! All he had done was get a little well-deserved revenge on her daughter and her daughter's pet by feeding the cat some soy milk! Sure he had used the entire bottle, but surely she could have easily gotten some more. And by easily, he wasn't referring to his current escapade into the human realm!

"Sesshoumaru, dear, seeing how you used the last of my soy milk, I have something I would like you to do for me." Mrs. Higurashi said with a disarmingly friendly smile on her face. "I want you to take this money and go to the store to buy some more soy milk. It should only take a powerful demon like yourself a few minutes to walk there, so I won't worry about driving you in the car."

"And if this Sesshoumaru should refuse to run this errand of yours? What will you do then?" I questioned the older human female. Despite her kind and motherly appearance, I knew that if she had been the one to birth the devious Miko and adopt the troublesome cat, then she was a much more terrible opponent than she appeared to be.

All at once, her friendly facade cracked and a sinister smile replaced the kind one that had been in place moments before, "Well, _Sesshoumaru_, should you choose to not meet my demands, then Kagome will find out exactly why Buyo had such a terrible case of gas last night! I'm sure I don't need to remind you of the consequences of my daughter's wrath; do I, Sesshoumaru?" she questioned while making a throwing motion remarkable like that of a person tossing a frisbee for a dog to fetch.

Just remembering the humiliation I was forced to endure at the hands of the young Miko made me break out into a cold sweat, so I agreed to her terms. Ten minutes later I found myself mired in this cesspool of humanity known as, downtown Tokyo. There were humans everywhere! They were pressing in on me from every side: pushing, touching, stepping on my feet. Where was this "Supermarket" that the Miko's mother had mentioned? If I didn't find it quickly, I would have to break my promise to Kagome and reveal my demonic powers because I could no longer tolerate the overload of humanity upon my senses.

Finally! I saw the bright sign that proclaimed a business known as a "Supermarket". Entering the building, I was bombarded by the smells of a thousand different types of food. Following my nose, I saw an entire display dedicated to a meat, that the Higurashi woman had cooked, known as "steak". I wonder if I had enough money to buy some of it? NO! I have to focus! Although that would be easier, if I had eaten before I entered this place. What had I come for again? Milk? No, that wasn't it. Soy milk! Yes, that was the vile substance that I was seeking.

Approaching one of the weakling humans that was wandering aimlessly through the aisle, I grabbed him by his neck and asked him where the soy milk was at. After listening to his inane babbling for a few seconds, I was able to determine that it was located a few rows away in the "Refrigerated" section. What is "Refrigerated" I wonder?

I followed the human's instructions and soon found the object of my quest inside some sort of magically cooled glass box. It rather reminded me of the smaller rectangle that performed a similar function in the Higurashi's kitchen. Perhaps this was a "refrigerator?" Now, how did one go about retrieving the soy milk from inside of the box? I watched as a female, pulling two young screaming children along in her wake, grabbed the metallic handle and effortlessly opened the glass panel. I copied her actions and got the bottle the Miko's mother had requested. The onna had also mentioned something about paying for the milk substitute, but I could not remember what she said.

I walked out of the store, not paying any mind to the screaming human that was attempting to summon something known as a "Police". I had no idea what a "Police" was, but the constant yelling was becoming quite annoying. I shook the squalling creature off of my arm, and took to the air to escape the other humans converging on the area, no doubt responding to their pack member's senseless screaming.

Arriving back at the Higurashi shrine, I presented Mrs. Higurashi with her precious soy milk. She thanked me and returned to the kitchen to finish preparing the rest of the morning meal. I decided to go and wake up Kagome, who was still sleeping after her long night of studying and yelling at her gassy cat.

Speaking of my rival, I was pleased to note that he was curled up outside of the Miko's room as she had obviously shut him out. The neko glared at me, and I growled at him to get out of my way. Apparently, he decided he still wasn't feeling well enough to fight because he immediately moved out of my path. The Miko was woken up, and after she was dressed, we went downstairs to eat breakfast.

The family was eating their breakfast peacefully, when Granpa Higurashi decided to turn on the television:

*And in this morning's news, A man was caught on video flying away from the Police! The man apparently stole a quart of soy milk from a local supermarket, and during the pursuit he simply flew away from all of his pursuers! Please watch as we roll the footage that was captured by an amateur photographer. _The TV shows a tall silver-haired male flying on a red cloud while clutching a bottle of soy milk in his right hand.*_

"Oh dear." said Mrs, Higurashi.

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**Author's Note:**

Sesshoumaru in a supermarket? Now that is a disaster just begging to be written! I want to thank my first reviewer: clara954! She gave me the inspiration I needed to write this new chapter! See all of you read my note begging you to review, and didn't? If you would have reviewed, this shout out would have been yours! Review and give me inspiration please! If you have an idea, just let me know and I will see if I can work it into this story. P.S. this story doesn't have a plan! I am just writing by the seat of my pants!


	5. In the Name of Justice

**Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, I would be the most awesome person on the planet!**

**In the Name of Justice**

_In the last chapter: Sesshoumaru gets blackmailed, but Mrs. Higurashi pays the price._

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Kagome was not happy. After seeing the incident on the television, Kagome had demanded an explanation for Sesshoumaru's actions. He had explained that her mother had blackmailed him into going to a supermarket and buying her some soy milk; although, he would not say what she was blackmailing him with.

She snorted. As if her loveable, kind mother would stoop so low! It was disgraceful that Sesshoumaru had resorted to stealing soy milk after he had protested so much when she allowed him to try it. Honestly! If he wanted some soy milk that badly, she would have been happy to buy him some! But, no, he had to sneak out of the shrine and terrorize the local shopkeepers and police! Sesshoumaru was TEN TIMES more frustrating than his brother! At least with Inuyasha, all she had to worry about was getting him to wear a hat, but with Sesshoumaru she had to worry about kleptomaniacal tendencies!

But even Kagome had to admit, Mrs. Higurashi was certainly looking guilty right now. Her eyes were flitting among three points in the room: the television, Sesshoumaru, and the bottle of soy milk that was sitting so innocently on the breakfast table. Her skin was getting paler by the second, and she was undoubtedly sweating from the scrutiny being leveled on her by the other members of her family.

Grandfather Higurashi broke the silene by droning out, "So, does everyone agree that you should have let me purify this demon the minute he arrived?"

Sota, who was watching the drama unfold with bated breath, suddenly gasped out, "It's all true! I heard Mom this morning when I went downstairs to get a glass of water! She was telling Sesshoumaru to go and get a.... Uhhh... I'll just be quiet now."

Sesshoumaru and Mrs. Higurashi, who had both been glaring at the boy to shut him up, both nodded in satisfaction. Their secrets were safe, for now.

Kagome stood up from the table; her arms were held stiffly at her sides and her head was tipped so that the shadows of her bangs covered her eyes. Suddenly she looked up with the fires of hell burning in her eyes, "YOU IDIOTS! This has gone on long enough! Sesshoumaru! You promised me that you would not reveal your demonic nature to any of the humans! And Mom, how could you? You blackmailed Sesshoumaru? And now everything is ruined! If anyone finds out about the well and demons-" She broke off crying because of the horrible images running through her mind.

Mrs. Hugurashi sat frozen in shock and guilt. Her daughter was right; she never should have sent Sesshoumaru to get the soymilk when she knew he did not understand their world yet. She slid out of her chair and onto her knees, "Kagome, I'm so sorry! I didn't even think about my actions; I was just so angry and tired that I spoke without thinking it through! Please, you must forgive me, Kagome!" She stayed with her body in the formal Japanese bow until Kagome collapsed next to her and they began sobbing in one another's arms.

Sesshoumaru did not bow, but he did apologize, "Kagome, this Sesshoumaru apologizes for the felonious actions that I committed. Now, onnas, please stop those infernal tears! This Sesshoumaru truly hates the bitter smell of human tears."

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"In the name of Justice!" that was what the Miko had called it, but Sesshoumaru just called it torture. To think that the Miko could devise a task so menial and torturous was truly astonishing. He had to _bathe_ and _pamper_ the Neko. He was not allowed to drown it, nor was he allowed to retaliate for the numerous scratches he recieved from the enraged creature. Kagome apparently thought since he was a demon, he would not recieve any lasting harm from the cat's claws. It was true that he was quite resilient, but the neko seemed quite determined to shred him into bite-sized pieces. What was the fuss about anyways? It was only water. Dog's love water, so why did cats have to hate it so much?

In the end, the cat got his bath, Sesshoumaru got his punishment, and let's just say Mrs. Higurashi wouldn't be asking Sesshoumaru to "fetch" anything for her ever again!

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**Author's Note:**

Yay! I used a big word! A kleptomaniac is a person who has an uncontrollable urge to steal. I would like to thank Darkness living in Hope for her review last chapter! See, I told you Sesshoumaru would get into trouble! Lol, but I bet you weren't expecting that were you? Anyways, people, this is the part where I beg for you to hit the review button and give me some inspiration! Ciao!


	6. Author's Page

**Author's Page**

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**Sorry everybody! This isn't a new chapter; instead it is a bit of an explanation. This story hasn't really explained how Sesshoumaru got to the future with Kagome, or where Inuyasha is. I am in the process of writing another story called, **_The Aftermath Party_**. I am getting ready to write the final few chapters that will help to explain the beginning of this tale. However, If you don't feel like reading that story, please be aware that this story can stand on its own! Once again, if you have any ideas or suggestions for me to torture any of the characters in this story with, please review and tell me! Also, let me know if you think Inuyasha should appear in any of the upcoming chapters!

That's all I really had to say for now, but I will post the link to my other story for you to paste into your browser if you wanna read it. If you do read it, and you liked this story, I'm sure you will love my other one as well!

**_The Aftermath Party:_** .net/s/5384214/1/The_Aftermath_Party. A combined effort of Inuyasha's gang, Sesshoumaru's pack, and Koga's determination has led to the defeat of Naraku. Now it's time to **party**! Alcohol is consumed, confessions are made, and life is better than ever when your looking through the sake glass.


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